THIRTY LINES A DAY
Hyper-Ant’s Poem
This is the punishment
to fit my crime
Writing lines
that no-one will read
Except Special Ed and Doctor Black
and Headmaster Grey
if he must
and Mum and Jack
and Vera
if she wants
Lots of lines
at least thirty
every day
until the holidays
then we’ll see …
Special Ed says
if I behave
next term
But I don’t really think
writing lines
will make me OK
In the empty classroom
after class
I sit at my desk
just me, my pencil and my lines
Everyone else has gone home
and Special Ed keeps watch
It’s not a punishment
he says
it’s a treatment, a consequence
or a stage
in your personal development
You clash with your environment
he says
One of these days
you’ll have to
take responsibility
for the trouble you cause
That means
everything that goes wrong at school
is my fault
that’s what
Headmaster Grey
and Special Ed
have decided
and they want to find out
who I really am
At school they call me Hyper-Ant
and I get angry
and cause
what Special Ed calls mayhem
At home I’m just Anthony
At school Vera says
I have ants in my pants
Doctor Black gives me medicine
to keep the ants at bay
but
I don’t like
the taste of
the tiny
white, round
and disgusting
bitter-tasting
pills
that are called Rita Linn
and
I hide
them
under my tongue
and later
plop
down the loo
Today is Tuesday
Yesterday was Monday
Tomorrow is Wednesday
The day after is…
Special Ed says that lines like that don’t count
My name is Anthony David Hill-Davenport
I’ll be ten years old
next month on 6th of November
The day after
Guy Fawkes
My hair is ginger
Your head’s on fire
says Neil
when I get mad
When a pharoah in Eypt died
his soul turned into a bird
Yesterday in woodwork
I broke the sink
with a spanner
It was an accident
I didn’t do it on purpose
I was trying to fix the tap
Headmaster Grey says that’s the final straw
Will they send me away?
To a children’s home
where the kids are punished at night?
My sister’s name is Julia
she doesn’t say a thing
she just stopped talking
She’ll be ten
next month too
We’re twins
I was born first
My dad is dead
a long time ago
Jack
my step-dad
is a grumpy old fart
You little devil
he growls
like a dog
when the ants
crawl around
in my pants
Mum is upset
because the pills
don’t work
She and the others
don’t know about
the hiding place
under my tongue
Ed is the Special Needs guy
from Glasgow
He helps Vera in the classroom
keeps me under control
He’s got a crew cut and beard and round glasses
and an earring
He knows all about kids like me
hyperkids
But
once
before Christmas
last year
he slapped me in the face
with the palm of his hand
He said
bloody troublemaker
But it didn’t hurt
when he hit me
He was shocked
he said sorry
He asked
if we could be friends
if we could keep it between us
Of course
I hit as well
and pull hair and kick
nearly every day
because they call me Hyper-Ant
the prisoner
They’ll let you out
in summer
Gary and Neil in my class say
and laugh
if they haven’t lost the key
or thrown it away
in the river
Nobody wants to be with me
they’re frightened I’ll go mad
Ed follows me around
like my shadow
Everywhere
High and low
even to the loo
In the corridors and classrooms
at school and on to the bus
At home I’m free
Jack has given up
and swears to himself
Every morning
early
before the others come
extra gym
That’s cool
I like to run around
almost on my own
Empty, cold gymhall
Large wooden floor
with yellow lines
Echo
Smell of old soap and sweat
Just Special Ed and me
to get the agression
out of my body
sort out the ants
“A sound mind
in a sound body”
Special Ed grins
every morning
shadow boxing
He wants to be friends
We play leap frog
and trampoline
Up and down
Play basketball and hockey
Just one against one
Hang on the ropes
But the ants hang on too
Sometimes we wrestle
on the mat
Ed lets me win
usually
Flat on his back
on purpose
It’s stupid
He’s twice as big as me
A fixed fight
Special Ed has hair
on his arms and his chest
and his back and his thighs
Under his arms
Lots of black hair
I bet only the palms of his hands
And his bum are bare
He’s like a gorilla
King of the Swingers
I look at my body
Let my hand glide
slowly everywhere
Skinny arms, skinny legs
Long neck
And no hair
Just white skin
and freckles
In clusters
Giraffe
62 lines
can I get tomorrow off?
But Special Ed says
no
you have to learn
to control yourself
Great
I think
I like to write
I’d never’ve thought it
no way
Writing lines is not that bad
but mustn’t let anyone
know
I’d better not sit too still
for too long
just writing
Because
if I do
the punishment will stop
The door to the classroom is open
Number 12
Vera has forgotten to close it
at lunch
I sneak in
lock the door
pull the curtains
My shadow is gone
My bum is itching with ants
They’re all over my body
8 desks
in a square
close together
no chairs
Then 4 on top of them
in the middle
Magic building
Heavy desks
I’m sweating
Then 2 on 4
The pyramid rises
The last desk on top
near the ceiling
And a chair on top of that
where I sit
head down
manically grinning
The bell rings
Vera screams
Angry Ed says
Come down right now!
Sarah and the others chant
He’s raving mad
Not right in the head
A nutter
He’s gone round the bend
What’s the matter with him?
Will this never end?
What nerve!
Get down
right now
says Special Ed firmly
or there’ll be trouble
Silence!
I boom
lifting my arms
like the wings of an eagle
I am Khufu the pharoah
And this is my tomb
You are my slaves
I have bought and paid
for you
Do as I command
Go home straightaway
take the rest of the day off
And the rest of the week
Go home
No more homework
ever again
To do homework
is a sin
Throw your books down the loo
and then flush it
He’s mental
should be put away
at least in a home
I think he’s cool
says Sarah
That gets me down
Ed’s on his way up
We meet halfway
I smile
Ed’s really hacked off now
Great pyramid, eh?
The usual
trip to Headmaster Grey
because I still lack
what Ed calls
basic social skills
Time to face the music
It’s serious
Old Headmaster Grey
small and kind and grey-
haired
Sad droopy eyes
behind thick round glasses
Seems to think it’s his fault
I’m hyper
and clash with my classmates
So here we are again
he sighs and puts his hands
on the table
What are we going to do
with you
you rascal?
Can you tell me that
Anthony David Hill-Davenport?
No
No I thought not
How could you know
not yet ten years old
He’s not strict
Just silent
and stares at me
But it’s the final straw
that breaks the camel’s back
says Headmaster Grey
as usual
It’s been broken a few years
I say to myself
How about a new camel
a stronger one
or two or three
I ask
He smiles
sadly with yellow stained
jaggy teeth
Should’ve had braces
Did you know
I ask
to cheer him up
that Kheops’ pyramid is
147 metres high
and 230 metres along each side
at the base
Really
he says
230 metres?
Not 229?
Are you sure?
I nod
That’s huge
Are you positive?
I nod again
and smile
But
did you know
asks Headmaster Grey
in a whisper
that the very first pyramid to be made
was built for King Zoser
about 4350 years ago?
What?!
King Zoser? You’re kidding
Does Headmaster Grey know about the pyramids too
and King Zoser
Wow!
That’s weird
but kind of
great too
Of course I knew
about King Zoser
Anyone who loves the pyramids
like me
knows that
Goes without saying
And did you know
I ask
that the great Imhotep
King Zoser’s architect
built the king’s tomb of stone
not blocks of dried clay?
Headmaster Grey
nods slowly
Cool
Is he bluffing?
I think
says Headmaster Grey
that the problem is
that you clash with yourself
Now what do you
think about that?
Yeah
maybe
but Special Ed says
it’s the environment
Well, well
says Headmaster Grey
It’s raining
I’m writing
lines in my book
Ed looks across
at me sometimes
Now and then
Probably wonders how long
I’m going to sit still
I look across at him
every now and then as well
He’s reading a big book
To get time to pass
no doubt
Something about the consequences of our actions
I’ve seen it before
What’s it about
I ask
About taking responsibility
for our actions
For better or worse
Oh right
Is it good?
It’s interesting I suppose
OK
Does it talk about me?
Yeah, kind of
It’s about everyone really
You and me
the world and its dog
That we all have to think through
what we do
I ask Ed
if he hates me
He looks up
surprised from his book
Hate you?
No of course not
Why would I do that?
I’m just trying to get you
back on the right track
You’re my bread and butter
He puts the book away
and comes over
to my desk
Of course I don’t hate you
or my job
he says seriously
It pays my bills
He looks at me puzzled
But, but
I say
But then you’ll lose your job
if you do it too well
if I behave
Ed laughs
Yes, but will you be good
right away?
Depends
On what?
If you want to keep your job
or not
Ed laughs again
You’re not the only one, you know
who can’t behave
in this school
Are there others who are
hyper
like me?
No not really
But you can be disruptive
without
being hyper
Oh right
Am I
disruptive?
Yes
It’s stopped raining
I’ve stopped writing
I like talking to Ed
He’s OK
How much do you get
I ask
for looking after me?
Enough to get by
Yeah but how much?
Twenty thousand
A month?!
Ed laughs loudly
like a horse
I like it when he laughs
when he’s happy
Everyone would want to be
special needs teachers then
A year?
Yes
D’you get that much
just to look after me?
I ask
Yes
but you need a lot
Of what?
Attention
Supervision
Stimulation
Alright
OK
if you say so
You need to write some more
Ed picks up his book
Sarah’s cut off her hair
her long, blonde hair
She’s not like herself any more
looks like a boy
I liked her better before
with long hair
But she’s still got
her big blue
eyes
Jack’s had enough
of me
He’s moved out
away
from Julia and
Mum and me
Mum shouted
and cried that he was a coward
who couldn’t deal with
anything
Another camel’s back broken
by another final straw
yesterday
when I threw
all his CDs away
in the river and then
watched them float downstream
on the current
like boats in a queue
The line has to be drawn somewhere
Jack said
red in the face
with clenched fists
and packed his bags
I’ll call
he said
when I’ve calmed down
Right now
I’ve got to get away
from that little bastard
before something happens
one fine day
an accident or something
I’m afraid
Get out
said Mum
You shit
Julia said nothing
not a word
No one
in the class
wants me in their group
for the history project
about the pyramids
No way
he’ll just
ruin everything
We don’t want Hyper-Ants in his pants
in our group
says Gary
They avoid me
like the plague
that devastated Egypt
once
long ago
But
I can do a project on my own
that will be better
much better
than theirs put together
and then they’ll be sorry
regret
that I wasn’t
in their group
But
all the same
it would be nice to be
in
a group
because then
I could tell them
that Egypt
became a state
more than 5000 years ago
and let them know that
the Kheops’ pyramid
is built
from two million
three hundred thousand
blocks of stone
and other things
they don’t know
about Egypt and the Egyptians
But Anthony knows
all about the pyramids
says Vera
in a move to persuade
Is there anyone who wants
Anthony
in their group?
No one says
a word
How does Vera know that I…
Must’ve talked
to Headmaster Grey
Alright
he might as well
be in our group says Sarah
suddenly
My heart jumps
But only if he
behaves himself
and doesn’t muck about
making trouble
all the time
like he normally does
That’s a good girl
says Vera
in a high happy voice
You can be head of the project
says Sarah
in the library
as we sit
round the table
Enzo and Stevie
and Pauline and Ann
and Sarah and me
The biggest library ever
in the world
was in Egypt in Alexandria
I say
No, you’re kidding
says Sarah
No there were seven hundred thousand scrolls
Wow!
Pauline says
that’s a lot
Yes
and then the Romans wrecked it
burnt it down
I continue
enthusiastically
because I
desperately
want to show off
what I know
Special Ed
my shadow
lurks
in the background
listening in
You can go
take time off
if you want to
I say
to Special Ed
There’s no need to sit here
while we work
It’s
not necessary
Are you sure?
asks Ed
Yep
I reply
The pyramids will take care
of me
so you don’t need to
OK
says Ed
and walks away backwards
out of the library
with a smile on his face
Perhaps he thinks
I’ve stopped
Clashing
With my environment
In the library
there is only one
one small thin book
on the pyramids
and one even thinner one
on the Egyptians
That’s not much good
I know everything in them
by heart from before
Shall I tell you
what I know
I ask
Great!
Sarah
says
The enormous blocks of stone
were lifted by workers
and the details on the pyramids
were drawn
by craftsmen
What details?
asks Sarah
Well…
And then I explain
and I tell them
everything
go on and on
about details
and ancient Egypt
and especially how
the pyramids were built
Och!
We don’t want to hear more
say Stevie and Enzo
annoyed
that I know so much
about the pyramids
and the fact that
Sarah is interested in what
I have to say
They don’t want Sarah
to like me
better than them
Where’s your shadow?
Stevie teases
suddenly
out the blue
Why now
when we were all
getting on so well
Anthony
Pantony
ants in his pant
thinks he knows everything
but just raves and rants
Enzo chants
like he’s learned
from Neil
And then
it’s all ruined
the pyramids fall down
to the ground
and the ants line up
like regimented soldiers
ready to attack and smash
everything
in their path
I pull Stevie’s hair
and kick Enzo’s leg
and we start to fight on the floor
throwing books and chairs
at each other
like loonies
Sarah and Pauline and Ann
shout and scream
and say
we’re so
childish
And then
everyone
except me
runs away
out of the library
shouting
it’s my fault
So I get mad
and upset
start to scream dirty words
at the walls
go beserk
like the Vikings
when they went mad
and smashed everything
they saw
I grab a chair and smash
it
on the shelves
so the books come
tumbling down
in a crash and a mess
which I kick around
like a football
till Special Ed
joins the field
fuming
and pulls the
red card
Now I’ve gone too far
But at least
Special Ed
keeps his job
In ancient Egypt
the dead
were buried on straw mats
sitting up
with their knees
against
their chests
that’s what I think
in my mind
and pull up
my knees
as I squat
on my chair
slowing shaking
as
Headmaster Grey and Vera and Special Ed
and Mum without Jack
who has left in a rage
and a man who no doubt
comes from the children’s home
where they torture
the boys every night
sit
and look seriously
at me
in the Headmaster’s office
and
I think
wonder
what they’re going to do
with me
Hyper-Ant, the mutant
Master Mischief
Mr Madman
the crasher
Anthony David
Hill-Davenport
I can’t deal with him
says Mum
with tears in her eyes
She stares at the floor
The pills
don’t work
like they should
But I don’t want him
to be sent
far away from home
to a place
where he’ll suffer
And then all the grown ups
say what they think
should be done
with a case
like me
all except Headmaster Grey
who just sits there
Mr Sadface
and slowly looks away
The man
who must come
from the children’s home
where they punish the kids at night
says
in his opinion
as an expert
what I really need
is
qualified permanent
help that
Sykes’ Services
should take charge
asap
the sooner the better
in cooperation
with
the doctor and Community Welfare
And later
he says
a thorough examination
of my head
to see why
I’m a troublemaker
with ants in my pants
that won’t stop
for a second
Who’s Sykes
I wonder
Is he the one who
tortures
the boys
at night?
No doubt
Should Anthony actually be here
listening to all of this
Special Ed asks suddenly
He must be distressed
confused
We can’t sit here and
discuss
these things
when the child is present
It’s meaningless
irresponsible
wrong
in my opinion
You’re absolutely right
says Headmaster Grey
in a serious voice
Come away
he says
and smiles at me
puts out his hand
Come
let’s get out of here
Let’s have a chat
about the pyramids
How about that?
Much better than
sitting here
don’t you think?
Umhm.
One day
says Headmaster Grey
on the bench
in the playground
under
the big
oak tree
that
stands there
like a wise old man
One fine day
in the foreseeable future
when I finally
get to be a pensioner
and don’t have to sit
in my dark
dingy office
day in
and day out
and administrate
I would dearly
love to
travel to Egypt
and get a closer
look at the pyramids
I have always dreamt
about doing that
since I was a child
and my father
told me about
all the wonderful things in Egypt
Me too
I say
and look straight at
Headmaster Grey’s
face
But I don’t think I can wait
till I’m as old
as you
No
that’s understandable
he replies
and laughs
showing his yellow, uneven teeth
that should’ve
had a brace
a long time ago and
he puts his arm round
my shoulder
smiling to himself
That’s a long way off
Do you know
I ask
just to test
to see if he was bluffing
the last time we discussed
the pyramids and the Egyptians
what was part of their pay?
Of course, that’s easy
says Headmaster Grey
it was radishes and garlic
And do you know
why
he asks back like
some TV quiz
I reply
proudly
that was so they wouldn’t get
tummy ache
and fart and poo
and go to the loo
when they should be working
slaving away with the heavy stones
or they wouldn’t get finished
in time
would they?
Eh?
What are you going to do
with me Mum
I ask
in the evening
having just not taken the pills
like I should
but kept them
as usual
under my tongue
until I’m in the bathroom alone
and then
I kneel down and carefully spit Rita Linn out
into the loo
where I’ve just peed
Well, nothing was
really agreed
says Mum
Everyone had different views
on what was the best thing
to do
But there’s no way
I’m going to send you
away from home
it’s out of the question
even if they turn up at the door
with a policeman
so don’t worry
But what about that man
from the home, Mr Sykes?
What?
asks Mum
and gives me a funny look
That man, the one
I’d never seen before
in a green shirt
Oh him?
He’s from Psychological Services
What’s that?
Silly, you know
they’re the ones who
help teachers and parents
and kids like you
Oh
I see
I say
incredibly relieved
I thought he was the man
who tortured the boys
at the children’s home
where I was going
to be sent
What?!
Julia
hasn’t
said a word
for years
at least
as far as
I know
She just stopped talking
the day after
Dad didn’t come home
from work in the city
and someone else came to the door
late at night
and spoke
in a low voice
to Mum
and told her that
Dad was dead
We heard it all
though we should’ve been asleep
a long time ago
At school they call her
the Mute
I never hit Julia
never
Why should I?
Who would believe
that Anthony and Julia
were twins
says Vera
to Special Ed
when she thinks
I can’t hear
what she’s saying
in the playground
She walks up and down
with her hands behind her back
watching the pupils
and making sure that
everyone
behaves
as they should
But my ears are like radars
I tune in to what they say
and hear every word
Little pigs have big ears
Mum often says
They’re so different
Vera goes on
complete opposites
in character
like night and day
don’t you think?
Special Ed just nods
and doesn’t say
anything
Vera’s not Special Needs
just an ordinary teacher
who has to have
help
to cope with people
like me
In class when
Vera gets angry
or upset
she often tells me
that I make her job
as a teacher
a misery
Why can’t you behave
like the other boys and girls?
she asks me
at least once a day
and then I don’t know what
to say
’cos Vera is kind
and says that
she wants everybody
including me
to be happy
and safe
at school
Vera is fat
and looks like
Miss Piggy
I sit in the waiting room
reading comics
while Mum talks
to Doctor Black
in his office
But the door is not closed
so I don’t really read
but listen instead
to what they’re whispering
about
The doses
of Rita Linn
must be increased
drastically
that’s the only thing
I can suggest
says Doctor Black
in a low voice
to Mum in
his tiny, cramped
office
That smells of foul medicine
He can’t understand
why
the small
white
and round
disgusting
bitter-tasting pills
with the funny name
don’t stop the ants
in my pants
so now he’s decided
to give me more
Rita Linn
than the ones he doesn’t know
I don’t already take
which means I have to find space
for at least three or four,
or maybe even five
in my hiding place
and that won’t be easy to keep them
there
under my tongue
All of a sudden
I hear
Doctor Black
ask Mum straight out
in a stern voice
if she’s absolutely certain
that I take the
prescribed pills
every day
And Mum says in an uncertain
worried way
Yes
I think so
both morning and night
But now Mum uses a torch
to shine a light in my mouth
twice a day
checks every cranny and nook
in my gob
and I’m not even allowed
to the bog
for ages
until Mum’s sure
that the pills
have arrived
where they should
All the round pills
make the army of ants
in my pants
lethargic
and quiet
all day
so now Mum’s afraid
that I’m taking too much
She calls Doctor Black
but he’s away
I hardly manage to read a page
in the big book
about pyramids
that Jack gave to me
when I turned seven
Jack wants to come back
again
but Mum says no
on the phone
You made your bed
so now you can lie in it
But I don’t understand
because Mum makes the bed
and sleeps in half of it
At school I sit
quietly
at my desk
and think about
all the things
I don’t know
about the pyramids
which I must
find out about when
I’m grown up
and an Egyptologist who
is someone
who
knows everything
about pyramids
I see Vera
up front
by the blackboard
She mumbles
a jumble of words and sentences
I don’t understand
He’s off his head
from another planet
whispers Neil
with a grin
But I’m not off my head
or from outer space
I’m just in a different
place
from the normal reality
of everyday school
And if the ants in my pants
weren’t sleeping
so soundly
like bears in hibernation
and the picture of pyramids
in my imagination
weren’t so strong and clear
I’d grab Neil
by the neck
and fling him to the floor
then sit on him
Julia has started
to speak a little
She’s no longer Mute
and I’m not Hyper-Ant either
It’s hard to believe
what a change
says everyone
who knew what
we were like
before
Julie reads to me in bed
about the pyramids
in the book that Jack bought
Rich Egyptians
Julia reads
were embalmed
when they died
because they thought
they’d need their bodies
in their new life
Yes
I know
I say
in a low voice
But the poor people
who couldn’t afford to do that
were buried naked
in the desert sand
laid out on their left side
facing west
and the sand dried their bodies
Shall I read the rest?
Julia asks
No
I’m too sleepy
My shadow
has more or less
disappeared
Who can be bothered
to follow
a sloth
who just sits
and is a good boy
with cotton wool in his head
treacle in his veins
and ants in his pants
that are dead to the world
No more extra gym
in the morning
there’s no point
no educational gain
says Ed
a bit sadly
because I think
that he
like me
enjoyed exercising
every day
But I refuse
to stop writing
the lines
I was ordered to write
months ago
Special Ed says
I don’t have to
if I don’t want
but why do you want
to take everything
away
from me?
I ask
and Ed doesn’t know
what to say
I think maybe
he liked me better
the way I was
before
I think
that the doses
must be wrong
He’s so sleepy
all the time
knocked out
all day
says Mum
with a long face
when we’re eating dinner
to Jack
who’s been allowed
to come back home again
He’s said he’s sorry
a hundred times because
he left in a hurry
but now everything
will be alright
he tells me
Look
says Jack
I’ve bought you a present
just something small
It’s a thick book
with hundreds of pages
about pyramids
written by an expert
from New Zealand
but there’s no pictures
or drawings
and I can’t be bothered
reading everything
that’s in the book
I whisper
I’m too tired
I go into my room
and lie on my bed
and fall asleep
right away
and dream that the ants
in my pants
have woken again
But when I wake up
in the evening later
they’re still fast asleep
This won’t do
I say to myself
and tiptoe
into the living room
and lie down on the couch
in front of the telly
It won’t do at all
Something has to be done
right away
before
it’s too late
and the ants disappear
for good
into thin air
Mum’s locked up the pills
in a cupboard
in the hall
under the stairs
and hidden the key
somewhere secret
There’s only one
thing to be done
In the evening
while Mum
and Jack watch TV
I take
a screwdriver
from Jack’s toolbox
and I put it
in my bed
under the pillow
then I lie there in the dark
and wait
and wait
and think
and try
not to fall to sleep
though it’s well past ten
but it’s not that hard
because I slept
in the afternoon
and then
when it’s quiet in the house
and everyone else
is asleep
I get up and sneak
into the hall
in my ’jamas and barefeet
screwdriver in hand
I fumble
in the blackness
before my eyes
get used to the dark
then I start
to unscrew
the cupboard
from the wall
to get Rita Linn
that lies within
and will be the death of the ants
if I don’t act fast and
do something
drastic
Four screws
carefully pulled out of the wall
then I carry
the cupboard to the door
where it’s put on the floor
while I open the door
I lift it up
again
and then go out
into the dark cold night
Down the middle of the road
in the middle of the night
against the stream
to the river
where the waterfall
will send
the cupboard and its contents
all the white round
disgusting-tasting pills
and other tablets
to the sea
and on perhaps
to China or Japan
or maybe
the Atlantic Ocean.
As I walk
alone in the dark
I think about the fact
that the Egyptians didn’t kiss
but rather rubbed noses
instead of kissing lips
Think what it would be like
if we did that today
Funny
Imagine if
I went across to Sarah
in my class
and rubbed my nose
against her
suddenly
for no reason
On the bridge
I can hear
the roar
of the water
falling
I look
down
into the wetness
and let the cupboard slip
into the darkness
down in to the deep
I see it dance
madly
for a second
in the froth
and then it’s gone
sunk, disappeared
Suddenly
with blue lights flashing
the ambulance comes
driving
full speed
into the playground
We storm
to the window
while Vera tells us to sit still
Children
she shouts
children
please go back to your places
at once
But it’s not possible
because our faces
are glued to the window
and the ambulance is parked
in the middle of the playground
blue lights still flashing
Two men
in white coats
and blue tousers
come rushing out
and pull out a stretcher
from the back of the van
then hurry inside
A minute later
they emerge
with Headmaster Grey
looking greyer than ever
stretched on the stretcher
with his eyes closed
Is he dead?
whispers Sarah
and I get a lump in my throat
My heart starts to beat
faster and faster
and I feel anxious
then sad
that he
who loves
the pyramids
as much as me
won’t get a chance
to see them
with his own eyes
like he’d planned
for a very long time
His heart
stopped
suddenly
while he was speaking
on the phone
to a travel agent
in the city
about a trip to the pyramids
in the summer
says Vera
later
when
the ambulance has gone
and she’s back from the office
where the teachers
were told
what had happened
to Headmaster Grey
But listen
says Special Ed
the ambulencemen
got his heart going again
almost at once
which means
they saved his life
And my own heart
slows down
and beats normally
again
Just before the Nine O’Clock News
Mum and Jack
discover
that the cupboard
is not there
Time for Rita Linn
Oh my God
screams Mum
all of a sudden
in hysterics
Where on earth
is the cupboard?
Jack comes running
paper in hand
wondering what’s up
Anthony!!!
Mum yells
in a threatening voice
D’you know anything about this?
Well…um
I say
I…um
What have you done with
the cupboard
you louse?
Jack hisses
not giving me a chance
to explain
He looks like himself
again
like when he left
Julia says nothing
she’s Mute once more
Answer me Anthony
Mum says
Answer me
She grabs
my arm
hard
Where’s the cupboard?
Well, I’m not really sure
What?!
You really don’t know
where it is?
No
It could be anywhere
in the big wide world
wherever it floated
The idiot threw
the medicine in the river
snarls Jack
looking ready to attack
but the only thing
he does
is to shred
and tear the paper
and swear
under his breath
The telephone rings
and everyone jumps
and is silent like Julia
It’s for you
Mum says
For me?
Yes
Hallo
I say
It’s Headmaster Grey
he’s calling
from the hospital
he wants me to come
and visit him
straight away
at once
on my own
alone
before he dies
he’s got something important
to tell me
OK
I reply
I’ll come
as soon as I can
I have to go and see
Headmaster Grey
before he dies
I say
to Mum and Jack
who look at me
with wide puzzled eyes
I’ll drive you
says Mum
No
I have to do this
alone
it’s between me
and Headmaster Grey
Yes but…but
No, there’s no buts now
I say
like Mum
when she wants
her own way
I’ll take the bus
end of discussion
Another of Mum’s
favourite expressions
Jack and Mum
exchange glances
We can’t say no
can we?
Deny a dying man
No
we have to take chances
They’ve forgotten the cupboard
But what difference
will a cupboard make now
that Headmaster Grey is departing
for the realm of the dead
where he might meet the old pharoahs
and perhaps even
Dad
On the bus
into town
I can’t settle down
as the ants in my pants
have started to crawl around
In one hand
I hold a big bag of grapes
for the patient
said Mum
and in the other
the thick book
about the pyramids
that Jack bought
for me
I give it to Headmaster Grey
Are you going to die?
I ask
him in the hospital
in the city
No at least
not straight away
he says
with a glint in his eye
not before autumn comes
and the leaves start to die
and fall to the ground
He smiles
it was just something
I had to say
to get you to come
quickly
right away
Oh
I reply
that was clever
Yes wasn’t it
Because you see
Anthony
I’ve got a great plan
a secret
that no one
not anybody
must know
Well, except you
and your Mum
because you’re a part
of the plan
absolutely nobody
not Special Ed nor
Jack nor Vera
nor anybody in your class
nor doctors and nurses
must know about this
d’you understand?
Because if they do
they’ll ruin everything
I’ve planned
OK
Can you keep a secret?
Umhm
Then when he’s explained
everything in a whispered voice
we munch grapes
and look at the book
about pyramids
There’s one thing I want
you to know, Anthony
says Headmaster Grey suddenly
What?
You keep my heart ticking
Good
I say and turn a new page
Remember to give
the letter to your Mum
Headmaster Grey says
when I’m about to go
and make sure that no one
else knows
That evening at home
in the living room
in front the telly
that isn’t switched on
nobody says a word
about the cupboard
Mum and Jack
and probably Julia
too
but she doesn’t ask
want to know
what happened
at the hospital
with Headmaster Grey
He’s not going to die
I say
not yet
but he wants me to visit
as often as I can
because
he says
I keep life in the old man
Well I never
says Jack
and looks over at Mum
Afterwards
later on
when Julia is in bed
and Jack’s on loo
or having a shower
I give the letter
from Headmaster Grey
to Mum
Is that OK?
I ask
in a low voice
looking at her
That’s fine
my wee man
says Mum
Of course that’s OK
she whispers
with a tear
in each eye
One fine morning
a few weeks later
Jack goes to work
on the bus with Julia
like normal
but
I stay at home with Mum
as agreed
and she phones Vera to say
that I’m ill in bed
and can’t go to school today
maybe not for a few of days
or even a week
But I’m actually not ill
I’m going to travel
in an aeroplane
and nobody has mentioned
the cupboard again
And the ants are awake
they’re alive and kicking
keeping
the butterflies in my tummy
company
Who would’ve guessed
that Headmaster Grey and I
were going to fly
far far away together
especially as it’s not the holidays
Not me
But here I am
at the airport
with Mum
waiting for Headmaster Grey
Where can he be?
Why hasn’t he come yet?
To make time go faster
I tell Mum
about the ancient Egyptians
about the nine main Gods
that Osiris, the God of the Dead
was most popular
and that they believed that
Ra, the Sun God
pulled the sun through the sky
in a boat
And we wait and wait
until
Mum gets abit nervous
and thinks
that maybe
Headmaster Grey is not going to come
after all
that he’s had a relapse
and perhaps I should call him at home
or ring the hospital
But just then
Headmaster Grey comes running
with a small suitcase
in his hand
and says he’s sorry
that he’s late
but he couldn’t find
his passport
right away
Are you sure this is OK?
asks Mum
Of course
Headmaster Grey
answers
and smiles
showing his teeth
that should have had braces
a long time ago
I’ll call every night
It’s only a week
just relax
We have to go
I say
because right then
they announce Headmaster Grey’s name
on the tannoy
Take good care
of him
says Mum
quickly
to Headmaster GreyTHIRTY LINES A DAY
Hyper-Ant’s Book
This is the punishment
to fit my crime
Writing lines
that no-one will read
Except Special Ed and Doctor Black
and Headmaster Grey
if he must
and Mum and Jack
and Vera
if she wants
Lots of lines
at least thirty
every day
until the holidays
then we’ll see …
Special Ed says
if I behave
next term
But I don’t really think
writing lines
will make me OK
In the empty classroom
after class
I sit at my desk
just me, my pencil and my lines
Everyone else has gone home
and Special Ed keeps watch
It’s not a punishment
he says
it’s a treatment, a consequence
or a stage
in your personal development
You clash with your environment
he says
One of these days
you’ll have to
take responsibility
for the trouble you cause
That means
everything that goes wrong at school
is my fault
that’s what
Headmaster Grey
and Special Ed
have decided
and they want to find out
who I really am
At school they call me Hyper-Ant
and I get angry
and cause
what Special Ed calls mayhem
At home I’m just Anthony
At school Vera says
I have ants in my pants
Doctor Black gives me medicine
to keep the ants at bay
but
I don’t like
the taste of
the tiny
white, round
and disgusting
bitter-tasting
pills
that are called Rita Linn
and
I hide
them
under my tongue
and later
plop
down the loo
Today is Tuesday
Yesterday was Monday
Tomorrow is Wednesday
The day after is…
Special Ed says that lines like that don’t count
My name is Anthony David Hill-Davenport
I’ll be ten years old
next month on 6th of November
The day after
Guy Fawkes
My hair is ginger
Your head’s on fire
says Neil
when I get mad
When a pharoah in Eypt died
his soul turned into a bird
Yesterday in woodwork
I broke the sink
with a spanner
It was an accident
I didn’t do it on purpose
I was trying to fix the tap
Headmaster Grey says that’s the final straw
Will they send me away?
To a children’s home
where the kids are punished at night?
My sister’s name is Julia
she doesn’t say a thing
she just stopped talking
She’ll be ten
next month too
We’re twins
I was born first
My dad is dead
a long time ago
Jack
my step-dad
is a grumpy old fart
You little devil
he growls
like a dog
when the ants
crawl around
in my pants
Mum is upset
because the pills
don’t work
She and the others
don’t know about
the hiding place
under my tongue
Ed is the Special Needs guy
from Glasgow
He helps Vera in the classroom
keeps me under control
He’s got a crew cut and beard and round glasses
and an earring
He knows all about kids like me
hyperkids
But
once
before Christmas
last year
he slapped me in the face
with the palm of his hand
He said
bloody troublemaker
But it didn’t hurt
when he hit me
He was shocked
he said sorry
He asked
if we could be friends
if we could keep it between us
Of course
I hit as well
and pull hair and kick
nearly every day
because they call me Hyper-Ant
the prisoner
They’ll let you out
in summer
Gary and Neil in my class say
and laugh
if they haven’t lost the key
or thrown it away
in the river
Nobody wants to be with me
they’re frightened I’ll go mad
Ed follows me around
like my shadow
Everywhere
High and low
even to the loo
In the corridors and classrooms
at school and on to the bus
At home I’m free
Jack has given up
and swears to himself
Every morning
early
before the others come
extra gym
That’s cool
I like to run around
almost on my own
Empty, cold gymhall
Large wooden floor
with yellow lines
Echo
Smell of old soap and sweat
Just Special Ed and me
to get the agression
out of my body
sort out the ants
“A sound mind
in a sound body”
Special Ed grins
every morning
shadow boxing
He wants to be friends
We play leap frog
and trampoline
Up and down
Play basketball and hockey
Just one against one
Hang on the ropes
But the ants hang on too
Sometimes we wrestle
on the mat
Ed lets me win
usually
Flat on his back
on purpose
It’s stupid
He’s twice as big as me
A fixed fight
Special Ed has hair
on his arms and his chest
and his back and his thighs
Under his arms
Lots of black hair
I bet only the palms of his hands
And his bum are bare
He’s like a gorilla
King of the Swingers
I look at my body
Let my hand glide
slowly everywhere
Skinny arms, skinny legs
Long neck
And no hair
Just white skin
and freckles
In clusters
Giraffe
62 lines
can I get tomorrow off?
But Special Ed says
no
you have to learn
to control yourself
Great
I think
I like to write
I’d never’ve thought it
no way
Writing lines is not that bad
but mustn’t let anyone
know
I’d better not sit too still
for too long
just writing
Because
if I do
the punishment will stop
The door to the classroom is open
Number 12
Vera has forgotten to close it
at lunch
I sneak in
lock the door
pull the curtains
My shadow is gone
My bum is itching with ants
They’re all over my body
8 desks
in a square
close together
no chairs
Then 4 on top of them
in the middle
Magic building
Heavy desks
I’m sweating
Then 2 on 4
The pyramid rises
The last desk on top
near the ceiling
And a chair on top of that
where I sit
head down
manically grinning
The bell rings
Vera screams
Angry Ed says
Come down right now!
Sarah and the others chant
He’s raving mad
Not right in the head
A nutter
He’s gone round the bend
What’s the matter with him?
Will this never end?
What nerve!
Get down
right now
says Special Ed firmly
or there’ll be trouble
Silence!
I boom
lifting my arms
like the wings of an eagle
I am Khufu the pharoah
And this is my tomb
You are my slaves
I have bought and paid
for you
Do as I command
Go home straightaway
take the rest of the day off
And the rest of the week
Go home
No more homework
ever again
To do homework
is a sin
Throw your books down the loo
and then flush it
He’s mental
should be put away
at least in a home
I think he’s cool
says Sarah
That gets me down
Ed’s on his way up
We meet halfway
I smile
Ed’s really hacked off now
Great pyramid, eh?
The usual
trip to Headmaster Grey
because I still lack
what Ed calls
basic social skills
Time to face the music
It’s serious
Old Headmaster Grey
small and kind and grey-
haired
Sad droopy eyes
behind thick round glasses
Seems to think it’s his fault
I’m hyper
and clash with my classmates
So here we are again
he sighs and puts his hands
on the table
What are we going to do
with you
you rascal?
Can you tell me that
Anthony David Hill-Davenport?
No
No I thought not
How could you know
not yet ten years old
He’s not strict
Just silent
and stares at me
But it’s the final straw
that breaks the camel’s back
says Headmaster Grey
as usual
It’s been broken a few years
I say to myself
How about a new camel
a stronger one
or two or three
I ask
He smiles
sadly with yellow stained
jaggy teeth
Should’ve had braces
Did you know
I ask
to cheer him up
that Kheops’ pyramid is
147 metres high
and 230 metres along each side
at the base
Really
he says
230 metres?
Not 229?
Are you sure?
I nod
That’s huge
Are you positive?
I nod again
and smile
But
did you know
asks Headmaster Grey
in a whisper
that the very first pyramid to be made
was built for King Zoser
about 4350 years ago?
What?!
King Zoser? You’re kidding
Does Headmaster Grey know about the pyramids too
and King Zoser
Wow!
That’s weird
but kind of
great too
Of course I knew
about King Zoser
Anyone who loves the pyramids
like me
knows that
Goes without saying
And did you know
I ask
that the great Imhotep
King Zoser’s architect
built the king’s tomb of stone
not blocks of dried clay?
Headmaster Grey
nods slowly
Cool
Is he bluffing?
I think
says Headmaster Grey
that the problem is
that you clash with yourself
Now what do you
think about that?
Yeah
maybe
but Special Ed says
it’s the environment
Well, well
says Headmaster Grey
It’s raining
I’m writing
lines in my book
Ed looks across
at me sometimes
Now and then
Probably wonders how long
I’m going to sit still
I look across at him
every now and then as well
He’s reading a big book
To get time to pass
no doubt
Something about the consequences of our actions
I’ve seen it before
What’s it about
I ask
About taking responsibility
for our actions
For better or worse
Oh right
Is it good?
It’s interesting I suppose
OK
Does it talk about me?
Yeah, kind of
It’s about everyone really
You and me
the world and its dog
That we all have to think through
what we do
I ask Ed
if he hates me
He looks up
surprised from his book
Hate you?
No of course not
Why would I do that?
I’m just trying to get you
back on the right track
You’re my bread and butter
He puts the book away
and comes over
to my desk
Of course I don’t hate you
or my job
he says seriously
It pays my bills
He looks at me puzzled
But, but
I say
But then you’ll lose your job
if you do it too well
if I behave
Ed laughs
Yes, but will you be good
right away?
Depends
On what?
If you want to keep your job
or not
Ed laughs again
You’re not the only one, you know
who can’t behave
in this school
Are there others who are
hyper
like me?
No not really
But you can be disruptive
without
being hyper
Oh right
Am I
disruptive?
Yes
It’s stopped raining
I’ve stopped writing
I like talking to Ed
He’s OK
How much do you get
I ask
for looking after me?
Enough to get by
Yeah but how much?
Twenty thousand
A month?!
Ed laughs loudly
like a horse
I like it when he laughs
when he’s happy
Everyone would want to be
special needs teachers then
A year?
Yes
D’you get that much
just to look after me?
I ask
Yes
but you need a lot
Of what?
Attention
Supervision
Stimulation
Alright
OK
if you say so
You need to write some more
Ed picks up his book
Sarah’s cut off her hair
her long, blonde hair
She’s not like herself any more
looks like a boy
I liked her better before
with long hair
But she’s still got
her big blue
eyes
Jack’s had enough
of me
He’s moved out
away
from Julia and
Mum and me
Mum shouted
and cried that he was a coward
who couldn’t deal with
anything
Another camel’s back broken
by another final straw
yesterday
when I threw
all his CDs away
in the river and then
watched them float downstream
on the current
like boats in a queue
The line has to be drawn somewhere
Jack said
red in the face
with clenched fists
and packed his bags
I’ll call
he said
when I’ve calmed down
Right now
I’ve got to get away
from that little bastard
before something happens
one fine day
an accident or something
I’m afraid
Get out
said Mum
You shit
Julia said nothing
not a word
No one
in the class
wants me in their group
for the history project
about the pyramids
No way
he’ll just
ruin everything
We don’t want Hyper-Ants in his pants
in our group
says Gary
They avoid me
like the plague
that devastated Egypt
once
long ago
But
I can do a project on my own
that will be better
much better
than theirs put together
and then they’ll be sorry
regret
that I wasn’t
in their group
But
all the same
it would be nice to be
in
a gro