New research from Mindroom shares what happens to parents and carers of neurodivergent children when they try to hold down a job at the same time.
Last autumn we asked parents and carers of neurodivergent children one straightforward question. What happens to your working life when you are also the person holding everything together at home?
We expected around fifty replies. Two hundred and fifty-two people responded, many of them writing far more than the questions asked for. People had been waiting for someone to ask.
What parents told us
Nearly nine in ten said their caring role has limited their ability to work or progress. Almost three quarters have changed their working patterns. More than half have reduced their hours. Thirty per cent have taken a career break or left work completely.
These are experienced and committed employees. Most work in senior, professional or management roles across finance, education, health and social care. Nobody in this survey is stepping back from work by choice. They are doing everything they can to stay in it.
The strain shows. Ninety-eight per cent reported an impact on their own mental health, describing stress, exhaustion and worry that builds up over years rather than weeks.
It is worth being clear about where that pressure comes from. It does not come from our children, who are creative, funny, resilient and full of potential. It comes from the daily fight for basic support, long waits for assessment and from support that arrives late or not at all.
“So effectively I have lost my career, a large amount of income and pension.”
What helps
Here is the encouraging part. A great deal of this is fixable, and some employers are already getting it right.
Six in ten described their employer as supportive. Parents wrote to us about managers who offered flexibility before being asked, and about workplaces where adjustments were simply part of how things ran.
The two things that helped most were being able to work from home and being able to work flexibly. Both come down to having some control over where and when work happens.
What is missing is consistency. Only 38% felt their employer really understood neurodivergence, and whether someone gets support still depends far too much on who their line manager happens to be. Good practice exists. It just needs to become the norm.
Parents also told us what they would find most useful. Specialist emotional and wellbeing support came top, followed by advice on navigating education and health systems, and peer support from other parents and carers who understand.
Thank you
To everyone who took the time to complete the survey, thank you.
